why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
