apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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