You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
