I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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