After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
