at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
