what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
