oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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