did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
