I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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