finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Dear god my vagina.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
