The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
