I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
