After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
