Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She needs sedatives and a leash
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
