Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I could fuck to npr.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
