the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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