At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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