It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
