We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
