ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
