And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
