we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
