I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
