I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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