My room smells like vodka and shame
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
