So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
