Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
