Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
