she is the kim kardashian of front butts
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
