cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
how drunk are you?
Several
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
