I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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