I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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