Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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