If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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