pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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