This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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