Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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