So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
