I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
