He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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