office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
