new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Even my vagina gasped.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize