One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
