I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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