I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
