So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
