we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
