Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
