I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
How's work?
Spinning.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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