I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
