Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
